Fallen Angel
by DarkBryna1724
Summary: REVISED. Yamato is tormented by his hidden feelings for Taichi, who is going out with Sora. Will his pain be freed before it's too late? Taito. Shounen-ai, very mild yaoi. ONESHOT. R


*REVISED* ---Extra fluff at the end added, plus some stuff to thicken it up and make it more well-rounded. I've also fixed any spelling errors and stuff as well.  
  
~Okay, here is another ONESHOT, called 'Fallen Angel'. It's about Yamato, who is tortured by his secret love for his best friend, Taichi. It has original songs written by me (So don't get any ideas about stealing them) Anyway, I hope you like it, and if you don't, that's okay. Oh yeah, and any Sora fans, get away from here now. Sora is the enemy in this story! Purely TAITO here... Any flamers will be used to unfreeze the icicles which are now my toes. Brr, it's freezing! I can't wait till spring...I hate winter. Anyway, enjoy the story! Free popcorn available...yeah, I wish. Er...enough babbling from me. Here's the really angsty Taito fic I promised to write. ENJOY!  
  
Thanks, enjoy!  
  
-Oh, and I do not own Digimon, though I wish I did *sigh*  
  
FALLEN ANGEL  
  
By: DarkBryna1724  
  
Ishida Yamato lay staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing through his mind. Thoughts of bare skin glistening with sweat, of tongues battling each other in passion. Thoughts of...Tai. Yagami Taichi was his best friend, who was going out with Sora. Tai, with his messy brown hair and ready smile. Tai, the boy Matt loved so much it hurt to breathe sometimes.  
  
The blond-haired rocker knew his best friend could never love him back. With a girl like Sora as his girlfriend, why would he? Tai was as straight as a line, while Matt was as hopelessly straight as a circle. Which is to say, not straight at all.  
  
His thoughts suddenly exploded into rhythm and Matt jumped up to grab a pen and paper. Words flowed ceaselessly across the blank paper...words of pain and torment.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
-FALLEN ANGEL-  
  
Going into shock  
  
I just can't stay  
  
Got to get away  
  
Don't want to fall  
  
Don't understand  
  
Can't stop the screams  
  
Can't afford to lose it all  
  
Shut my eyes  
  
Don't want to see  
  
Don't want to know  
  
My mind is tired  
  
So empty inside  
  
Too much lying  
  
Sick of crying  
  
Need salvation  
  
Want redemption  
  
When will this all end  
  
Fallen angel  
  
Lost in this hell  
  
Eyes clenched tight  
  
Can't seem to breathe  
  
Hiding, always hiding  
  
Lost in the lie  
  
Lost pretending  
  
Can't say goodbye  
  
Twisting, turning  
  
Shaking, burning  
  
My soul is broken  
  
I'm so hollow inside  
  
Too much lying  
  
Sick of crying  
  
Need salvation  
  
Want redemption  
  
When will this all end  
  
When will this all end...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Finished and exhausted beyond all belief, Matt slumped back on his bed. He felt so damn empty inside, like nothing mattered. But it mattered, it really did. No one knew though, because of the mask he always wore. He was stuck playing a part because he was afraid to let go. The thought of rejection was too strong, too damn strong.  
  
Eyes dry because he couldn't give into the tears that threatened just below the surface, he just sat there. He didn't even notice the door opening, or the object of his pain and desire walking in.  
  
"Matt?" Taichi called, looking worriedly at the still figure of his best friend.  
  
Empty blue eyes looked up before a mask of indifference slid into place.  
  
"Hi, Tai. What do you want?" he spoke, his voice carefully neutral.  
  
Tai didn't believe the mask for a moment, but set the matter aside for now. Yamato wouldn't like him butting in on private matters, and getting into a fight wasn't a good idea when he wanted to be around his friend at the moment.  
  
"Some of us are going to a bonfire at the park. You want to come?" he asked, remembering why he'd come to Matt's apartment.  
  
The rocker sighed and nodded. Although he was horribly exhausted, he wouldn't give up the chance to be with his best friend.  
  
Walking silently side by side, they made the short trip to the park where Matt could see a large bonfire. Figures laughed around it, plastic cups of an amber liquid in their hands. Beer? Where had they gotten beer? Everyone he saw was underage.  
  
'Damn. I hope I don't get drunk and accidentally say something to Tai,' he muttered to himself silently.  
  
He must have said something out loud because his best friend looked at him strangely. To cover up his blunder, the blue-eyed teen said, "Let's join the party. It looks fun."  
  
The other boy reluctantly nodded and they joined their friends, who immediately gave them their own foaming drinks. It tasted bitter, like beer always did. But the two of them took a sip anyway, unable to refuse the amber liquid.  
  
Yamato noticed Sora on the other side of the fire, talking to Daisuke and Ken, who had their arms around each other. He clearly saw her look over and turn away when she saw Tai. But why? Matt was puzzled by this. Tai and Sora were still going out, right?  
  
Taichi saw his friend looking at Sora, a confused look on his face. Sighing, he quietly said to his friend, "We broke up."  
  
"Again?"  
  
Lowering his eyes, Tai told Matt, "This time for good."  
  
"You can't be serious. You've broken up, what...twenty times at least." Matt looked disbelieving, an eyebrow raised.  
  
"This time's for real. She got fed up with me for the last time."  
  
"What'd you do? Forget to call her or something?"  
  
A choked, bitter laugh was his answer and the brunet shook his head. "I wouldn't go far enough with her."  
  
"WHAT?! You, the great Yagami Taichi, wouldn't go far enough for HER? That's got to be a lie."  
  
Suddenly irritated at his best friend, Tai glared at Matt. "It isn't a lie, all right? Just leave it alone already!"  
  
Stunned by the chocolate-eyed boy's vehemence, Yamato instantly shut his mouth. Could Tai really be telling the truth? But it was impossible...right? It had to be.  
  
"Hey Tai, chill." Kari came up beside them, seeing her brother's anger.  
  
Quickly deflated, the spike-haired teen sighed. "Sorry. I don't know what got into me."  
  
His sister gave him a look that clearly said, 'I know exactly what got into you.'  
  
Tai gave her a warning glance and she turned away, an accusing glare on her face. Confused again, Matt just stood there. What the hell was going on?  
  
"Hi Matt...hi Tai." Sora said, passing them on her way to the drinks.  
  
Seeing her look of wistfulness at Tai, Yamato instantly knew they weren't going to stay broken up for long...no matter what Tai had said. Sora always got what she wanted, and she still wanted Matt. It was always the same. By Monday, they'd be a couple again. That's just how it was.  
  
But Tai's return glance got Matt puzzled for the third time that evening. He barely even looked at the girl, an annoyed look in his brown eyes.  
  
Her shoulders slumped, Sora trudged on, a hurt look on her face. Yamato began to wonder if their break up really was real. What luck if it was...  
  
'Don't start getting your hopes up, Ishida. There is no way Tai would suddenly turn gay and like you. No fucking way.'  
  
Matt turned away, trying to hide the pain-filled look in his eyes. Immediately, his gaze was caught on Daisuke and Ken, who were pressed up against a tree in a passionate embrace. They surely wouldn't be cold tonight, of this Matt was sure.  
  
'Lucky them. Why can't I ever get any luck?"  
  
A hand landed on his shoulder and he flinched, turning to face Tai. A smile was on the brunet's face. "Why don't we grab some more drinks?" Tai pointed to their empty cups. Strange...Matt hadn't even realized he'd even touched his beer.  
  
A couple hours passed, with Matt growing more and more drunk along with everyone else. At one point, he looked around and didn't see Tai anywhere...or Sora.  
  
His heart racing, he walked away from the fire to where he heard some voices. It was Tai, arguing with Sora. When she saw Matt, the brown-haired girl threw herself into Taichi's arms and kissed him hard on the mouth. Tai stumbled back, his arms settling on her waist to keep them from falling over.  
  
Tears blurring his vision, Matt ran away before he could see anymore. God, Tai had been lying! What a fool he was to believe Tai wouldn't stay with such a beautiful girl as Sora.  
  
"Matt! Wait! MATT!" Taichi yelled when he realized what Yamato had seen. Damn Sora!  
  
The sapphire-eyed teen ignored him, his pain too real...too raw. All that mattered was getting home...getting away from the sight that had torn his heart in two.  
  
He could hear Taichi racing behind him as he pounded up the stairs of his apartment building, and put on a burst of speed. Faintly glad his father wasn't home, Matt slammed open the door and ran into the first room he saw. The bathroom.  
  
Locking it against anyone who tried to get in, he leaned against the door. Tears ran unchecked down his pale face, his eyes full of pain and torment.  
  
'God! I was so stupid!" he smashed his hands against the mirror, barely realizing he'd shattered it and cut himself.  
  
Blood ran in rivulets down his arms and he stared, mesmerized at the crimson sight before him. The physical pain didn't bother him, the emotional pain still too raw. He looked into the shattered remnants of the glass and back down at his hands. Blood now dripped onto the white tiles of the floor, staining it red.  
  
Tai's voice, panicked, screamed at him. "Matt! Open the door! PLEASE!"  
  
Dazed by the blood loss, the sapphire-eyed teen didn't move. He was paralyzed by the pain. All the torment that had built up over the months was now ripped raw, open. Everything he'd hid from everyone was now free, and he was suddenly screaming...screaming with the pain...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
-WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST-  
  
Blood streams from me  
  
Shattered mirror pierces  
  
Can't fight the pain  
  
The tears keep falling  
  
And you keep calling  
  
I was a fool  
  
To believe the lies  
  
Guess he was right after all  
  
Prophecized my fall  
  
And the blood keeps pouring  
  
And the pain keeps tearing  
  
And I keep screaming  
  
Looking in the mirror  
  
What's left  
  
All I see is a ghost  
  
Where were you  
  
When I needed you most  
  
You pound on the door  
  
Panicked and wondering  
  
If I lay dying  
  
After all your lying  
  
Do you think  
  
I'd let you in  
  
And the blood keeps pouring  
  
And the pain keeps tearing  
  
And I keep screaming  
  
Looking in the mirror  
  
What's left  
  
All see is a ghost  
  
Where were you  
  
When I needed you most  
  
When I needed you most  
  
...needed you most....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Suddenly the door flung open and Tai ran into the room. Tears flowed from his eyes and pain filled his face. "Oh, Matt!"  
  
Yamato slowly turned to look at the brunet and felt dead inside. "Tai?..."  
  
The other boy wrapped his arms around Matt tightly, sobs shaking his body. Soon, sobs shook the blond's own body and they cried together.  
  
"Tai...Tai...I didn't mean to!" he sobbed, pressing himself against his best friend.  
  
"I know. I...I wasn't kissing Sora, you know. She wanted me back and I didn't want her...and when she saw you, she wanted to hurt you," Tai managed to choke out.  
  
"But why?" Matt cried, pain ripping through his voice.  
  
Tai burrowed his head against Yamato's shoulder and mumbled, "Because she knew I loved you."  
  
The blond-haired boy flinched and shoved Taichi away. "Don't lie! I can't take any more lies!"  
  
Tai grabbed Matt's shoulders and said through gritted teeth, "I AM NOT LYING! God, everyone knows how I feel except you!"  
  
Shock coursed through the rocker's body and he felt tears gathering in his eyes again. Could it be true? Did Tai really love him?  
  
Taking a chance that it was true, Matt whispered, "I love you, too."  
  
A watery grin broke across the chocolate-eyed teen's face and he pulled Matt into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner!"  
  
Words abruptly spilled free from Matt's mouth. "I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell anyone! I was so afraid...and it was tearing me apart. I kept seeing you and Sora and I just wanted to die. Oh Tai...I love you so much!"  
  
"Shh. It's all right. Everything's going to be okay now."  
  
Pressing his lips against Taichi's, Matt murmured, "Now it is."  
  
His hands slipped under Tai's shirt and there was some heated kissing, in which both of them ended up losing their shirts. Bare skin pressed against bare skin and elicited gasps from both boys.  
  
Tai laughed and said in a choked gasp, "I think we'd better bandage your hands before we do anything else."  
  
Matt felt a reluctant smile tug at his lips and he nodded. "All right. But then..."  
  
Both of their eyes twinkled as they thought of exactly how their evening was going to go now....  
  
~So, how'd you like it? I felt sooo bad about making Matt go through so much pain, but it all turned out okay in the end. Yeah, I know I didn't have too much fluff in it, but I wanted to try my hand at a much more serious story. I've seen what depression can do to people, so I wanted to write a fic that involved it but ended up happily at the end.  
  
Oh yeah, and the two songs in here are original ones I wrote. The first one is called 'Fallen Angel', which is what the title is named after. The second one is called 'When I Needed You Most'. Yeah, they're only the lyrics, but I haven't written music to them yet. I hopefully will soon...er...once I learn how to. Lol.  
  
Well, if you want to tell me how I did, please click the Review button.  
  
Thanks for reading my story, and I hope you enjoyed it! Taito/Yamachi is the BEST!!!  
  
~DarkBryna1724 


End file.
